Love should not hurt

When you are not served love with a spoon…you will lick it

off knives. Many are trained and groomed to tolerate abuse and users.

When love isn’t given to you with care, you might end up searching for it in dangerous ways, even if it means hurting yourself. Many of us grow up being conditioned to accept abuse, manipulation, and being used. Without even realizing it, we are taught that our words, our needs, don’t really matter. We learn that keeping quiet, hiding our true feelings, and quietly doing what’s expected of us is the only way to stay safe.

We begin to please others, rescue them, show up time and time again, stretching ourselves thin, thinking this is how we earn love and acceptance. But in truth, we are being taken advantage of. This can happen in all kinds of relationships — with parents, friends, partners, coworkers, and even in places we trust, like churches or communities. It starts with what seems like love — affection and attention — but soon turns into long hours, demands, obligations, and guilt trips.

Over time, we serve others without limits, without boundaries, and without speaking up. We think it’s love because we feel safe or seen, important, and included. But behind the surface, we’re stuck in a cycle of toxic behavior, chaos, and constant emergencies. We become the rescuer, the one with all the answers, the fixer. And often, it’s hard to even recognize that we’re in this trap because the constant compliments feel good and the patterns are so deep. The lines between healthy love and emotional abuse become blurred.

This is the wake-up call we all need: love should be mutual and supportive, not one-sided or self-sacrificial. Love should not hurt.

In my work with clients, I’ve helped many people recognize these toxic patterns. It’s a brave step toward reclaiming your boundaries, your voice, your life, and ultimately, your sense of self-worth." - Jewel Diamond Taylor, author of "Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain with You"

www.JewelDiamondTaylor.com